Piping-Hot 2024 Predictions

Stonk Enjoyer is back in 2024 with some piping-hot predictions that will probably come back to haunt me later!

I also hope everyone had a lovely Holiday and aren’t facing the repercussions of their “let’s circle back in 2024” emails too horrendously.

This is not investment advice and is intended for entertainment purposes only

🔥2024 PREDICTIONS🔥

Before you get started: these go from highest-conviction to lowest.

ie. they will get more outlandish as you go

🥗Snack-onomics

Ozempic-fueled headwinds of lighter appetites will be bullish for companies that can adapt to smaller portion sizes.

Price Predictions:

1. Cava = 🐂

   Ticker:$CAVA

   The bowl economy is coming in HOT this year as people ditch calorie-dense sandwiches (yes a burger is a sandwich) for lighter, veggie-forward options with healthier carbs.

   Quinoa is about to have its MOMENT.

   🎯Price: $55

2. Mcdonald’s = 🐻

   Ticker: $MCD

   Mcdonald’s is an American staple that is the fast-food version of too-big-to-fail…. BUT that doesn’t mean it’s immune to the tightening of belts of the American people. It’s trying to hop on the health train with CosMcs, it’s vintage-era snack restaurant, but the snack-wrap can only do so much.

   Ultimately I am bearish on McDonald’s.

   🎯Price: $275

3. Starbucks: 🐂

   Ticker: $SBUX

   The coffee connoisseur had years to prep for this moment with their egg-bites and array of lighter small-bite options that go perfectly with the Ozempic style of diet. I am bullish on more growth for the edible side of the $SBUX business model.

🛢️Oil causes Hawkish Fed behavior

📖 Here’s a reader-inspired prediction for you:

War in Middle East drives oil prices higher. Oil prices falling was a big driver of lower inflation print.

Another high inflation print = fewer rate cuts

Ultimately this would be hard on the overall economy and stocks would likely see quite the selloff.

Official interest rate cut prediction that will probably come back to bite me:

No cuts until Q3 2024, then 3 cuts starting late summer until the end of the year.

🧌Green Goblin Mode for Fidelity

This is my most outlandish prediction yet:

Fidelity, the family-owned broker-dealer, will acquire the scrappy silicon valley disruptor, Robinhood.

They will become a massive green brokerage firm and have access to all generations of investors. $HOOD will struggle until they make a tender offer and buy up all the shares to take it private.

Anti-monopoly regulators may kick this deal to the curb, but that’s an outlandish prediction for 2025.

⛔️Remember this is never investment advice and is for information purposes only.

These are likely all wrong.

But hey, that’s what makes it fun!

📕Reader participation!!

If you have a good prediction, please reply to this email for a chance to get featured in upcoming weeks of Stonk Enjoyer!

Meme of the Week

Credit to @Litcapital